You can force compersion on yourself, right? Right?
February 8th, 2016
Images
February 7th, 2016
My patience for know-it-alls is … limited.
Blame my ex-wife.
February 6th, 2016
I’m not hung over, you’re hung over. Ssssshhhhhhhhh. Object quieter.
February 5th, 2016
You should invite me to all of your parties. Or, given the amount of food I made for my party, make me host every party.
February 4th, 2016
Apparently a sense of self-worth is very expensive.
February 3rd, 2016
Heather is a monster made of hair and spite.
February 2nd, 2016
An unforgivable sin.
February 1st, 2016
I deserve my own side-eye.
January 31st, 2016
I’m baffled when people say that the internet is a way for people to avoid connection. Connection is basically all I use it for.
January 30th, 2016
I am the king of fixing water heaters (because I called my landlord and he took care of it).