Tag Archives: codependence

December 13th, 2016

December 13th, 2016

My (fairly justified) separation anxiety has given me coping mechanisms that sometimes make me worry that I’m a little too good at letting go of people when I need to.

What if it isn’t that I can put up the walls when I need to, but that I just can’t connect at all?

But apparently Kara believes this line of thinking is nonsense. So I’m probably just being too hard on myself. As usual.

November 30th, 2015

November 30th, 2015
November 30th, 2015

I used to win arguments (or at least make them stop) by spiraling. Oh, you thought I was bad for saying this? Well, I hate myself for saying it. Oh,  you think I’m a bad husband/boyfriend/friend for doing that? Well, I think I’m an irredeemable piece of human garbage for doing it.

It wasn’t helpful. It isn’t helpful. But habits are hard things to break.

July 5th, 2015

July 5th, 2015
July 5th, 2015

During a day filled with reminders that my current relationships are nothing like my former relationships (including overhearing a woman  talk about emotionally abusing her boyfriend while we were at dinner), it’s hard not to engage in unhealthy behavior after having lived the life I have.

I have a tendency to put the people I care most about up on a pedestal. Right now it can be incredibly tempting to do this with my partner. But I know that will just drive a wedge between us.

So I struggle to continue to be present, honest, and engaged.

She’s worth the struggle.