My (fairly justified) separation anxiety has given me coping mechanisms that sometimes make me worry that I’m a little too good at letting go of people when I need to.
What if it isn’t that I can put up the walls when I need to, but that I just can’t connect at all?
But apparently Kara believes this line of thinking is nonsense. So I’m probably just being too hard on myself. As usual.
Old habits are hard to break, but having new reasons to break them helps.
I used to win arguments (or at least make them stop) by spiraling. Oh, you thought I was bad for saying this? Well, I hate myself for saying it. Oh, you think I’m a bad husband/boyfriend/friend for doing that? Well, I think I’m an irredeemable piece of human garbage for doing it.
It wasn’t helpful. It isn’t helpful. But habits are hard things to break.
During a day filled with reminders that my current relationships are nothing like my former relationships (including overhearing a woman talk about emotionally abusing her boyfriend while we were at dinner), it’s hard not to engage in unhealthy behavior after having lived the life I have.
I have a tendency to put the people I care most about up on a pedestal. Right now it can be incredibly tempting to do this with my partner. But I know that will just drive a wedge between us.
So I struggle to continue to be present, honest, and engaged.
She’s worth the struggle.
Sassy Therapist returns!
You can’t “fix” other people. You can only take stock of yourself and what you’ve done and try to do better.
Not everything I’m good at is good for me.
I am trying not to repeat easy, well-worn patterns that haven’t worked for me in the past.
Apparently this makes me draw comics that make me look and feel like I’m being an asshole (but that’s inevitable because sometimes I am an asshole).
A moment from therapy.
Being present is the hardest thing I struggle with. This relationship included.