I maybe almost died.
I’m not dramatic at all when I’m sick.
February 22nd, 2016
Tag Archives: funny
February 20th, 2016
I am chock full of good ideas.
February 11th, 2016
It was worse than you think. Or at least that last fifteen minutes was.
February 10th, 2016
I managed to pass out in the time it took my iPhone to reset. I guess I was sleepy or something.
February 6th, 2016
I’m not hung over, you’re hung over. Ssssshhhhhhhhh. Object quieter.
February 5th, 2016
You should invite me to all of your parties. Or, given the amount of food I made for my party, make me host every party.
February 3rd, 2016
Heather is a monster made of hair and spite.
February 2nd, 2016
An unforgivable sin.
January 30th, 2016
I am the king of fixing water heaters (because I called my landlord and he took care of it).
January 28th, 2016
This is like a reverse evolutionary diagram.