
My Mother’s funeral.
Today, I found out that my mother had a very serious infection. I could go into the details, but they don’t matter. Not really. While everyone else was holding on to hope, I knew just enough about what she had to know her odds weren’t good.
I was 2,500 miles away, broke, and caught completely off guard. I wasn’t ready. But I tried to start getting there.
My (fairly justified) separation anxiety has given me coping mechanisms that sometimes make me worry that I’m a little too good at letting go of people when I need to.
What if it isn’t that I can put up the walls when I need to, but that I just can’t connect at all?
But apparently Kara believes this line of thinking is nonsense. So I’m probably just being too hard on myself. As usual.