I’ve been far away lately, but I’m trying to come back. My eyes have always been a distraction, finding a pattern of color or light that distracts me from where I am, but while I’m so distant it’s been worse than usual.
February 24th, 2017
Category Archives: Comics
February 23rd, 2017
This is not a good way to de-escalate a disagreement.
February 22nd, 2017
I haven’t spoken to my brother in months. No amount of “Benghazi” or “but her emails” can quell this anger that I feel towards what he did. Not when every day I see threats to my livelihood, my liberty, and the lives of my loved ones.
I know I need to get past it. I just haven’t figured out how yet.
February 21st, 2017
Every time I think I might be done with going to therapy for this, some new wrinkle comes up. This is today’s.
February 20th, 2017
Today I started my first non-comics related art piece in ages. I still haven’t finished it, but it felt really good to spend a little time just drawing for the pure fun of creating.
February 19th, 2017
Today, my Mom would have been 70. The family all gathered at her graveside and did a Facebook Live video so I could be there, too.
God, I miss her so much.
February 18th, 2017
Today, Kara sat me down and made me pose for her camera. Just sitting still, without distractions, under her gaze, broke me. Not being able to run from my grief made it fall out of me.
Maybe someday she’ll share the pictures. I’m sure they’re intense to look at as I crumble and fail to regain composure.
February 17th, 2017
There were days in February where I was a blank. Where my notes read things like “I worked. I can’t remember anything else.”
Since it was grief at losing my Mother that had me so disconnected, I decided to write about my memories of her on those days.
The biggest disagreement we ever had was whether I should marry my ex-wife or not and I don’t think that if Mom had lived to 100 she would have ever forgiven her for the way that ended up falling apart.
I miss her protectiveness. I miss my Mom.
February 16th, 2017
There were days in February where I was a blank. Where my notes read things like “I worked. I can’t remember anything else.”
Since it was grief at losing my Mother that had me so disconnected, I decided to write about my memories of her on those days.
This is from Mom’s first corporate airplane flight in February of 2014 to come see me for her birthday. My brothers were just worried about her, but I knew she’d be just fine. During her and I’s last long, meaningful conversation, she told me how much she appreciated that I saw her as a competent, capable woman and laughed that I was certainly the only one of her sons who would put her on a bus and send her off to a city by herself.
I miss the brave woman who inspired me. I miss my Mom.
February 15th, 2017
I may be an extrovert, but sometimes I still need time to myself doing my things that I don’t share with anyone else. Today was one of those days.