I already shaved.
August 5th, 2014
Monthly Archives: August 2014
August 4th, 2014
Kayla’s officially a good egg. Expect to see more of her in these pages.
And in general if you’re a person I actually hang out with.
August 3rd, 2014
I guess it’s clear that I’m dating again.
August 2nd, 2014
I don’t really feel like there’s anything I can add to this, so … yeah.
August 1st, 2014
The physical transformation I’ve undergone, going from over three hundred pounds to just a little over two hundred, has been nothing next to the changes I’ve made to my very identity.
I rewrote everything so completely that I’m still filling in the gaps in my new backstory. I’m still finding missing pieces that need their narratives attached or discarded.
This hasn’t been a result of a loss, but of a gaining of identity. A return to the true north that had been hiding in me since childhood.
The internet was a place that I could begin this process in a relatively safe way. I could be a version of myself I felt comfortable letting the world see.
The fact that the “internet Jesse” was probably even more fucked up than the “real Jesse” is telling, but that’s a subject for another day.
July 31st, 2014
This project is often about facing my fears and the dark things within myself that I wish I could hide away by exposing it to the world (or at least to the people who read this little comic). Today I stared at the darkness and I did not blink.
July 30th, 2014
If you don’t get this joke, don’t google it.
Trust me.
July 29th, 2014
Sometimes anger can make you say things you regret. Sometimes it can save your life.
I’m learning to tell the difference between an unhealthy reaction to things not being the way I want them and when it’s time to fight back against something harmful.
July 28th, 2014
To quote my favorite movie, “I know drug real from real real!”
It’s incredibly difficult to sift through the things that come from what seems almost like an outside source and the thoughts that are truly, genuinely mine when I’m being effected by my Depression or feeling anxious, but I have a lot of practice at it.
When these thoughts, which I have not been confronted with consistently for almost 5 years, began to surface again I knew that it was a side effect of the medication and not me slipping down into a spiral.
I didn’t panic, I didn’t act on them. I went to the doctor, I told her what was happening, and I’m trying something else.
It would be easy to just swear off anti-depressants entirely, but like a diabetic trying to control their illness through diet alone, I know that sometimes I have to accept that I have a chemical problem that can require a chemical solution.
That said, if you’re having suicidal thoughts, please reach out for help. You’re not alone. I’ve been there and if I had gone through with it when I had a date and a plan, I would have missed all the best things in my life. You are loved. You are worth it.
July 27th, 2014
If the basis of comedy isn’t pain, then I apparently don’t even know what comedy is.