I feel like I should also apologize for all the lousy likenesses over the last three years.
Every time I think I might be done with going to therapy for this, some new wrinkle comes up. This is today’s.
We can all contribute. We can all help. Mostly by listening.
Maybe you need to hear this, too.
Group therapy can teach you so much about yourself in the things you learn about someone else. Also, a few people out there definitely had to die in my brain before I could start over with them. That doesn’t mean we’re ever going to be close again, but they are fully not what they were before. And that’s a good thing.
I saw Nine again today. Knowing what to expect helped me get more out of the show, but it also made some other things … a bit awkward.
Maybe don’t make jokes about strangers being child molesters? Especially since you never know when they’re a victim and your shitty jokes (there was more than one – I cut this short for brevity) might trigger them.
I’m not saying it was fair or reasonable of me to be triggered by a fairly innocuous joke, but I am saying that I was.
If you find yourself telling a victim of abuse that your perception of their experience is more important than their actual experience, understand that you’re contributing to the culture that keeps abuse survivors from speaking up. You’re part of the reason battered spouses stay and rape victims don’t file charges.
But the good news is that you can stop. You can learn. And I hope that you do. Because the world doesn’t need more of that garbage.
I feel like such an uncomfortable, wounded kid so much of the time. I can’t tell you what it means to just feel like myself around some of you. And maybe this will give you some insight into why I’m awkward sometimes or why it took a while for us to be close. I’m always working on it and it’s always getting better, but it’s most definitely “a thing.”