Today was a day of confronting things that at other points in my life I would not have. I would have shied away. I would have acquiesced.
I’m not saying I did everything perfectly, but I didn’t do a bit of it without putting myself and my own happiness first and foremost. I didn’t spend a moment sacrificing my needs for the needs of others.
And if you think that sounds selfish, I would suggest you go read about codependency.
I am responsible for my happiness and right now, I’m being very responsible.
I have often craved solitude in my life, but there’s no experience quite like sitting alone, your feet chilling in a mountain lake, and no one for miles around.
In 2009, my former art teacher, Mr. Joe Bell called me to ask if I would be interested in helping with Highland High School’s production of Grease. He didn’t have enough boys for all the roles and no one who could pull off Beauty School Dropout. He’d gotten permission to have a alum come in alumni to come in and perform the song.
He didn’t know it at the time, but I truly believe that his phone call saved my life.
I was sliding into a suicidal depression that continued into late 2010, one that nearly claimed my life. Without the catharsis and connection that the stage offered me, I don’t know that I would have survived this period.
The years since have been some of my most difficult, but also some of the absolute best. I’ve seen things and felt things I couldn’t have imagined. I’ve met people who have changed my outlook on the world and been, in some small way, an inspiration to others around me.
All because of a call from a high school art teacher.
So, I dedicate this to all of the teachers that ever reached out to me and specifically to Joe Bell. You changed my life. You saved my life.
Perhaps this is an obvious point, but anyone who is recovering from something would do well to remember it. Don’t judge your progress. It is your progress and it is significant and it is acceptable.
