
Escape can be necessary.
Escape can be necessary.
A few days ago, I told Kara that I loved when we had exciting adventures together, but that I also wanted the quiet, simply nights where we lived at a pace that I could keep up for decades. Because that’s what I want: Decades.
Tonight was one of those nights.
Sometimes Depression expresses as anger. Sometimes it’s even at tiny little doomed seedlings.
Or maybe I was being an asshole. I’m not even sure.
Gaming has often been my drug of choice, for good or ill.
Too anxious to socialize? Make a comic!
Nothing like a little anxiety dream about all your teeth falling out …
What happened in Dallas last week was a tragedy. It broke my heart.
But what I also immediately knew was that my heart was about to be broken by friends and relatives who would use this as an excuse to belittle and ignore the Black Lives Matter movement. To push out the suffering of all the people who are bullied, threatened, and killed by police officers every day in this country.
Since then I’ve watched video of police in riot gear smashing women half their size into pavement, called out racist posts by people I thought knew better, and found myself having to take a step back because engaging with all of this is just too much for me sometimes. I can’t keep up the pace of constant outrage while trying to live my daily life.
I don’t know how some of the more politically active friends I know do it. I don’t know how they face that ignorance and hatred every day. I wish they didn’t have to.
I’m trying to keep my brain sharp and reenergize so that I can come back, full of knowledge and compassion. I want to be in this fight. For my loved ones, for the kids I want to have someday, and because it’s just the right thing to do.
My heart goes out to all of the people impacted by what happened in Dallas on this date.
And
Black Lives Matter.
Sometimes you just have to do things anyway (even when neither of you feel like it).
Because I’m lazy and anxiety, of course.