The line between having self-awareness and a willingness to question your own motives and just being crippled by obsessive self-doubt is a fine one.
August 15th, 2014
Monthly Archives: August 2014
August 14th, 2014
It isn’t time to go to sleep until you’ve dropped your phone on your face at least three times.
August 13th, 2014
What happens in the stairwell, stays in the stairwell.
August 12th, 2014
I can be rather … intense.
It means connections come quickly and strongly, it means I am always passionate and driven, but it isn’t without complications.
I’m not saying this is a positive or that it is a negative, it’s just something that I’m aware of. Something that I think about.
And thus, something that I write about.
August 11th, 2014
Today, Robin Williams committed suicide.
When I heard the news, I hid from my coworkers in a bathroom stall and cried for twenty minutes, feeling the weight of my struggles with Depression and suicidal thoughts, dating back to my teenage years. I thought about how hard I’ve fought to make my progress, to turn my life into something that I’m happy living in, and I thought about how that battle is never going to end for as long as I live.
Every day can be an uphill climb just to function. There are times when simple, menial tasks seem impossible.
I can tell you inspirational stories from my life and the lives of those around me about the beauty inherent in that fight to stay alive, but today I think it’s best to just let us all feel how sad we are to see someone succumb to their struggle, how hard things can be, and how we should love and support each other when and wherever we can.
August 10th, 2014
I might (as one friend put it recently) have the energy of a “rabid T-Rex,” but even I hit a wall from time to time.
August 9th, 2014
Tonight I watched “All That Jazz” for the first time. I wasn’t quite ready for how deeply it would affect me.
The thoughts I’m portraying here were certainly sobering, but they’re not exactly upsetting or sad to me. I’m on a path where I can be comfortable withe only having me and I’m making work that makes me feel good about what I’ve done and added to the world.
Only having me and what I made is not really such a bad deal.
August 8th, 2014
In my defense, I’d never been to a burlesque show before. And it was hot outside.
Besides, I have nice legs, so to wear pants would be to deprive the world of a great wonder.
August 7th, 2014
Another moment from the same conversation:
“How long was the trip?”
“Oh, 2 or 3 hours?”
“5 1/2 HOURS, JESSE!”
I owe Adoria, big time.
August 6th, 2014
I still may not have a lot of friends here in Portland yet, but that hardly means I’m alone out there in the world.